ZaHiro86

Well Ive decided: I'm useless. Been tryin for a little while now to figure out whats got me so upset and depressed all the time... I mean the weirdest things have been upsetting me lately and I just couldn't figure out why... But there it is. Got no job, got no license, still haven't finished orientation much less chosen classes, no ideas for the future, can't figure out how to make my mom happy and still live my life, have to now re-prove my magic skills, have to stop acting like a whiny brat, gotta grow up, gotta stop pushing my morals down peoples throats, gotta trust more, gotta get over things, gotta keep thinking positive, gotta do som

Today was the second time in my life I was hit with the reality of human mortality. And when i say hit, I mean smashed by a fuckin freight train hit. I don't really know why, I mean sure he was my uncle but I didn't even see him on a yearly basis, we weren't anything close to close. But seeing my dad lose his brother... he went from chubby to malnourished in 3 weeks... that is not normal. And then my 3 cousins, all between 30 and 40, the eldest having lost his only son at the age of 5 just 8 months earlier. My aunt was devastated, shaking, crying unable to speak without sobbing... and yet I didn't cry, not till I saw my 85 year old barely awa